Smiles can be odd to foreigners

“Hi!” said a student walking down the other side of University Avenue. The student was smiling. I wasn’t sure the individual was talking to me. As he crossed past me in the next few seconds, he asked me with a bigger smile: “How are you?”

Being new to this country and to the culture of Grand Forks, I thought he must be of “unsound mind” and asked myself: “Who was he talking to? No one else was here. He did not know me.”

Coming from India, it never entered my mind that the student from UND was talking to me.

A few minutes later, as I boarded a bus for the Grand Forks Public Library, the bus driver welcomed me with a similar statement: “Hi! How are you?” These words, too, were accompanied with a smile.

When I was encountered with a similar wish, for the third time, from the young charming girl sitting in the front of the bus, I responded this time, albeit reluctantly: “I am fine.”

Then, I thought: “Is something wrong with me? Am I all right today?”

A few minutes later, a senior citizen entered the bus. And the very next moment, she was busy chatting with another passenger sitting next to her as if they knew each other for years. The elderly woman got off the bus a few minutes before the Metro Transit Center. Simply out of curiosity, I asked the smart-looking girl, probably in her teens: “Did you know her? Was she your relative?”

I literally was taken aback, when she said: “No. I met her for the first time.”

Later in the evening, I shared my experiences with my friend, Sanjay Gupta, a scientist who lives in East Grand Forks.

“This was a cultural shock for me, too, when I came here for the first time,” he said. “People here are very courteous, and they normally would welcome you with a smile. It does not matter, even if they do not know you.”

I asked Sanjay: “Does this mean I have to stop and chat with the individual for a minute or two?”

He replied: “Not at all. You just reply with an equally big smile. Good. I am fine. How are you? And then move ahead without stopping even for a second.”

A resident of Grand Forks for about seven years, Sanjay said: “I never have experienced any rude behavior. People here generally are very polite. They would always help when you need it.”

Unlike me, having the benefit of moving around the United States, Sanjay, shared his experience: “This (smile and politeness) diminishes slightly as you move toward the West Coast.”

All this reminds me of the preaching of a well-known Hindu saint in India who says: “A cheering face and smile costs you nothing. In fact, it keeps you in good health.”

It also reminds me of the millions of “Keep Smiling” stickers distributed by the Gayatri Parivar, a socioreligious movement in India having about 50 million members.

I recollect the article I wrote a few years ago about Laughing Clubs in New Delhi, India’s capital. Such clubs now have become popular. Every morning, one could see a group of people laughing aloud ha, ha, ha in neighborhood parks across Delhi.

These clubs might have resulted in improving an individual’s health, but they have not been able to bring cheer or smiles to these faces you come across during daytime. Even if you know the fellow commuter sitting next to you in a city bus, one rarely would find them talking.

Back home, I hardly could imagine seeing a cheerful smile or hearing a “Hi!” or “Hello” from a person whom I do not know. People there would take it otherwise and might even get angry for addressing them this way.

Nonetheless, having stayed here for more than two weeks now, I am trying to adjust myself to this cultural change and trying my best to smile, at times reluctantly, and say “Hi” or “Hello” to every passer-by whom I come across.